Selling Soulfully with Jennifer Allan

Last week we did a teleseminar show in the SWS Virtual Studio on a rather sensitive subject - QUITTING. Yeah, quitting. As in, throwing in the towel and calling it a day. The goal of the show was not to talk anyone out of quitting, or shame them into staying or even to sell them a bunch of my books so they'll miraculously turn their career around; no, the goal to assure agents that IF quitting is right for them, there's no need to apologize, feel guilty or be ashamed. In fact, I believe it takes a lot of courage to admit that something isn't working and go do something ELSE!

During the show I described seven Reasons to Leave that I believe are perfectly valid Reasons to Leave. Not that anyone needs my permission or blessing, of course, but if you, or someone you know is struggling, and any or many or all of these apply, leaving might very well be the best course of action.

1. Your market truly sucks. Contrary to the rah-rah's and Pollyannas, there may NOT be enough business to go around and some markets are truly awful. If buyers aren't buying and sellers aren't selling, there's nothing we as real estate agents can do to change that. To determine if your market is viable or not - take a look at how the top five agents in your office are doing. If they're busy and seem to be going to closings on a regular basis, then there probably IS business to be had if you could figure out a way to get some for yourself. But if even the top dogs are struggling, your market may not be viable, right now anyway.

2. You aren't suited for self-employment. Not everyone is cut out to be self-employed. And there's no shame in that. Here's a great article about the entrepreneurial personality: http://www.bizoffice.com/library/files/entrepreneur.html

3. Your understanding of what a real estate agent does all day was wrong. Before going into real estate, many agent-wanna-be's think the job revolves around showing property, writing offers, attending closings, creating home brochures and holding open houses. Which, as we all now know, isn't the case at all. If you didn't realize how much of your time would be spent pursuing business, trying to solve unsolvable problems and dealing with grumpy idiots, and you don't particularly enjoy these activities, perhaps real estate wasn't a good choice for you.

4. You don't handle confrontation and conflict well. Most normal people would prefer not to have a lot of conflict and confrontation in their lives, but if you tend to avoid it at all costs and literally make yourself sick when in the middle of a disagreement, it's likely a career in real estate will be miserable for you.

5. It's simply time for a change. No one ever said real estate had to be your last career. Hey, if you're bored or burned out or ready to do something different, go for it!

6. Your lifestyle has changed. Perhaps you've had children since you got your license... or maybe your children are now at an age where they're more demanding of your time. Maybe you've gotten married... or divorced... maybe you're having health issues or are caring for an aging parent. Life happens... and sometimes a lifestyle change will also require a change in career to accommodate your new reality.

7. And my favorite... Real estate is just too hard right now. You know what? Selling real estate is freakin' HARD right now. And often not much fun. And often not too profitable. If you aren't having any fun; if you aren't sleeping well at night; if you aren't making any money and don't see that changing - GO DO SOMETHING ELSE! Life is way too short to get up every morning and hate what you do.

If you're struggling with whether Real Estate is/was a good career choice for you, you might check out a new (free) newsletter mini-clinic I just put together. It's specifically for aspiring agents (people who are thinking about going to real estate school), but it's a fairly hard-core look at the realities of the career - and might be helpful for you in making your decision. Just go here: http://sellwithsoul.com/sws-specialties/rookies/aspiring.html

During a recent SWS Teleseminar show (Negotiate with Soul) a discussion arose as to whether or not a listing agent should "remind" the buyer agent of the buyer's contingency deadlines. We didn't exactly call it "reminding," but rather "checking in" or "following up," but to my ear, it's the same thing as "reminding."

For example, in Colorado, there is a loan approval deadline which somewhat functions as the Drop Dead date in a transaction. If the buyer does not have loan approval by that deadline (typically a few days to a week prior to closing), he can do one of three things. He can:

1. Terminate the contract and receive a refund of his earnest money, no questions asked, or

2. Ask for an extension of the loan approval deadline (which the seller has the option to grant or not), or

3. Do nothing.

Please note - the onus is on the BUYER to notify the other party if there is a problem with the loan. If the buyer does nothing, it is assumed that the loan is fine, and the earnest money goes "hard" - that is - if the transaction does not close on time, the seller has the option to keep the buyer's earnest money. But NOT HAVING LOAN APPROVAL DOES NOT TERMINATE THE CONTRACT and if it still somehow can close on time, great!

So, back to the question, (assuming an agency relationship exists) should a listing agent remind the buyer agent about the loan approval deadline?

You can probably tell by my tone what my opinion is... but first, what's yours?

Dear Jennifer, 
 
I've wanted to be a real estate agent since I was 18 and your book made it sound so easy and wonderful! Although, I must admit that I also read in other books that you have to "have a thick skin," but I told myself - "I'll be fine because I'll only work with nice people!" The problem is, even "nice" people can be difficult and demanding.
 
I've finally acknowledged that I don't have the personality for this. I hate it when people are angry with me, and I have a temper myself. I have very little patience for constant interruptions. I hate confrontation and negotiation, and I dread the sound of the phone ringing because I know it's a problem on the other end that I have to solve.
 
And of course, the financial insecurity has been more than I can stand. Sure, it's great to have those $10,000 months, but they always seem to be followed by several months of zilch - maybe because I spent all my energy working on those sales that led to the $10,000 month. I can't stand not knowing where my mortgage payment will come from or whether or not I can pay my health insurance premium next month.
 
This career has been devastating to my health, my peace of mind and, as you know, my marriage. Now that I'm back at work, 9:00 - 5:00, in a J O B that I can leave at the office, I'm so happy and relieved, I can't believe I didn't do this sooner.
 
I hope you aren't disappointed in me. I really gave this my best shot, but in the end, it wasn't for me. Do I feel like a failure? Yes, sometimes. But I tried and I'm glad I did!
 
Sharon

***

Last month I received this letter from one of my very first readers, and with her permission, I shared it with my mailing list.

Wow - the response back to me was overwhelming. Many sympathized with Sharon and quite a few confessed to having similar fantasies about leaving the business. But in the words of those who admitted to be considering a change in career, I heard a common tone of shame, of guilt, of apology - that they felt they had to defend themselves for even thinking about making a change -- even though their real estate business was clearly taking an enormous toll on them.

Well, I'm here to tell you that there is NO shame in changing something that isn't working. Quitting, even. Successful people do it all the time - in fact, Seth Godin wrote a whole book about it (The Dip)! There's nothing sacred about a real estate career and if the time has come to do something ELSE, have the courage (yes, the courage!) to throw in the towel and DO something else!

Of course, if you're just frustrated with your real estate career from time to time it doesn't mean it's the wrong career for you; that's just life -- the frustration will pass. Or maybe you're a little burned out and need a fresh start or even a break so you can rediscover your passion for the career you used to love. In this case, quitting probably is NOT the answer!

So, how can you know which it is? How can you know if you are truly ready to do something else (in which case, you most certainly should), or if you're just a little tired and frustrated?

I dunno ;-]

No, seriously, I think I can help. On August 25th, we'll convene in the SWS Virtual Studio for a frank discussion about, well, quitting. Be warned this is NOT a Rah-Rah show where we'll rev you up and encourage you to eat right, exercise more, think positive thoughts, chant daily and then, oh, yeah, try to sell you lots of our stuff to help get you back on your feet. Nope, our goal is to help you decide, for yourself, if you're on the right path. If you aren't, we'll encourage you to make a change. No guilt, no shame, no apology required!

THE DETAILS
Date: Thursday, August 25th, 2011
Time: 8:00am Pacific / 9:00am Mountain / 10:00am Central / 11:00am Eastern  
Duration: 75 - 90 minutes
Cost: Free to attend live, but you must register, below. You may purchase a recording afterwards for $3.99 in the Sell with Soul Bookstore.

REGISTER FOR THE SHOW HERE

Yesterday, we did a teleseminar show in the SWS Virtual Studio about negotiating - specifically, negotiating on behalf of our buyers and sellers (as opposed to any sort of fee or commission negotiation). I was joined in the studio by Blake Farley, from Silver City, New Mexico and from the positive feedback I received on her presentation and brilliance, I'm guessing you'll be seeing her on future shows - GREAT JOB, Blake!

The format of the show was that Blake and I took turns sharing our top ten favorite tips and strategies for keeping negotiations on track and civil... and, oh yeah, maximizing the likelihood that our client gets what he wants without any unnecessary drama, chaos or angst. At the end of the show, I asked the audience to tell me what their favorite tip(s) of the day was/were, and here were the results:

Favorit-est Tip #1: When negotiations get hot and heavy, withdraw. Dead silence from your side. Don't tell the other agent you're "thinking about it" or going to "sleep on it," just stop all communication until the next day. Very unsettling to the other side, and keeps your client from getting carried away by the emotion of the negotiation.

Favorite-est Tip #2: Never believe anyone when they say "This is our best offer" or "This is our bottom line," and related, never let the deal die on your side. No one knows what their best offer or bottom line is until they've either signed an agreement, or rejected one. When the other agent presents a counter-offer to you and tells you "this is the best we can do," pay no attention. If your client still wants the house (or still wants to sell), counter back. More often than not, the negotiation will continue beyond the previously stated "best" or "bottom."

Favorit-est Tip #3: Related to 2, never ask your buyer or seller for their bottom line or highest-and-best. If you do, you force them to commit to a figure and they might be uncomfortable down the road if they're willing to go higher or lower. A side benefit to this strategy is that you won't be accused of spilling the beans to the other side if, by chance, the offer or counter comes in at the exact figure they shared with you. If a buyer or seller tells you what their highest-and-best or bottom line is, act as if you didn't hear them ;-]

Favorit-est Tip #4: Get everything in writing - no oral negotiating. When agreements are reached over the phone, something always comes up when it's time to put the agreement on paper, creating unnecessary drama. It's easy enough today to just "write it up," and keeps everyone on the same page, so to speak.

(Tied for) Favorit-est Tips #5, 6 & 7: (Almost) always counter an offer, even on technicalities to keep the buyer from feeling he could have/should have offered less; as the listing agent, don't remind the buyer's agent of contingency deadlines (to protect your seller's right to retain earnest money); and always remember whom you represent, which helps you be a stronger negotiator and not make an idiot out of yourself with your own client!

Other tips from the show:

• Make the offer price/counter price "attractive" to the other side by rounding up or down (e.g. $279,900 versus $280,000)
• When countering, use positive statements when possible - e.g. instead of "No termite inspection," say "Buyer to pay for termite inspection."
• Realize that you can say NO - and that the other side sometimes fully expects you to.
• Set expectations with your clients BEFORE you get to the offer stage (e.g. market conditions, communication, etc.)
• Negotiate delayed possession for staged and owner-occupied properties, in case the loan falls apart at the last minute
• Try to give the other side an opportunity to save face when negotiating - don't reject a counterproposal outright - give a little bit, even a token amount or concession.

If you missed the show, you can purchase a recording of it in the SWS Bookstore for $3.99, or join Club SWS for $10/month and get access to recordings of all past, present and future SWS shows!

As promised... here is the follow-up to my earlier blog about what to do with your contacts once you've loaded them up in your contact management system to maximize the likelihood that your sphere of influence (the people who know you) will support your real estate business. If you'd like to read the first installment where I covered Steps 1-6, here 't'is: http://activerain.com/blogsview/2454716/so-my-contacts-are-loaded-what-now-

In a nut, Steps 1-6 had you going through all the names in your database to identify any missing bits of information, then categorizing your contacts as Group One, Group Two or IDK's and then creating sub-groups.

By the way, if you'd rather just watch the video of the whole webinar, you can do that here: www.sellwithsoul.com/cms-contacts.

So, here are Steps 7 and 8:

Step 7: Research all the missing bits of information that you identified earlier and fill them in on each contacts' profile. Facebook is a great resource for email addresses and birthdays, BTW.

Step 8: Concurrent with Step 7, identify each person in their profile as a Group One, Group Two or IDK, as well as any sub-group they belong to.

(Depending on your contact manager, this last step can probably be done on a "mass" input basis.)

Once you've completed Steps 7 and 8, you should have a relatively complete and up-to-date database (wasn't that fun? LOL). If you stay on top of it, you'll never have to go through this entire exercise again, although I believe it's a good practice to print out your database and review it a few times a year, just for kicks.

So, now, it's time to start reconnecting with the people whose names are in that database.

Depending on your business model and future plans for your sphere of influence, you may want to send out a "reconnection letter." I won't talk about that today because it would take too long, but I have a live workshop coming up this fall on the subject.

But whether you send out a mass reconnection letter or not, there are several things you can be doing to reconnect with your sphere of influence, starting now!

Here's what I would do.

First, I would print out my Group Ones (my social network) and go through the list name by name to see who I feel like reconnecting with in the next week or two. The cool thing is that your "mood" will change week to week, so NEXT week, you can go through the list again and be drawn toward completely different people. I'd try to go out for coffee or drinks with two or three people a week until I'd had a face-to-face with all my Group Ones (or at least attempted to, thus making contact).

As I'm going through my list of Group Ones, I'd try to remember the last conversation I had with each person to remind myself where we left off in our friendship.

Then, on an ongoing basis after each social encounter, I'd immediately write down something we talked about that I can follow up with in a few days or weeks, and enter that follow-up as a task in my contact manager. For example, maybe my friend told me she was getting a new puppy over the weekend; I could call the next week to see how it's going. Or maybe a friend tells me her mother has been ill - I can follow up in a few days to see if she needs anything.

What about your Group Twos (your "everyone else" contacts who aren't in your social network)? Well, I communicate with my Group Two with postal mailings and mass emailings. I don't try to socialize with them or make personal contact unless I have a bona-fide reason to, but my Group Two was always a significant source of business for me, even without the face-to-face/voice-to-voice contact.

So, that's the show for today ;-]. Hope you enjoyed this little mini-series on What To Do Now That Your Contacts Are Loaded!

To read more about my Contact Management ramblings, just go here: www.SellwithSoul.com/contact-management.

Excerpted from Chapter Ten of "If You're Not Having Fun Selling Real Estate..."

I used to be afraid of the word “negotiate.” I considered it, paradoxically, to be both beneath me and also over my head. My vision of a master negotiator was someone who was expertly manipulative, who had the attitude of one of my first clients: “It’s not a good negotiation until both sides feel some pain.” I pictured a cheesy salesperson in an expensive suit making his opponent feel inadequate and inexperienced so that she eventually gives in against her will.

I wanted no part of that!

On the other hand, I was also intimidated by the concept of becoming a good negotiator. I read books on the Art of Persuasion and Negotiation and found the methods to be interesting but not terribly practical. When I’m having a conversation with someone, I simply can’t intentionally steer the conversation in the direction I want it to go using rehearsed scripts. And, frankly, being a girl, it’s important to me that there is a mutual trust in any conversation I have—y’know, that whole feminine relationship-building thing.

So, for years, the idea of being a great negotiator wasn’t something I was interested in becoming.

But you know what? Somehow I became one without even trying. No, not by listening to subliminal sleep tapes, reading books or taking an expensive weekend course, but rather by trusting my own common sense and understanding of human nature.

***

I hear from agents all the time who say they "hate the negotiation part of real estate." Yikes! While negotiating may not be the most important skill we possess (although then again, it might be!), it's certainly something we should be reasonably competent at, and therefore, not hate the thought of!

And becoming a reasonably competent negotiator really isn't all that difficult - a lot of it is common sense and common courtesy.

So, if you find yourself dreading the negotiation process during your real estate transactions, let us help. On August 18th, I'll be joined in the studio by Blake Farley, an SWS'er who has discovered the joys of Negotiating with Soul. We'll each share our tips and strategies for getting your clients what they want -- without alienating the other side!  

THE DETAILS
Date: Thursday, August 18th, 2011
Time: 8:00am Pacific / 9:00am Mountain / 10:00am Central / 11:00am Eastern (Please show up a little early to get settled in.) 
Duration: 75 - 90 minutes
Equipment Needed: A computer with a high-speed connection and speakers or a telephone.
Cost: Free to attend live, but you must register, below. You may purchase a recording afterwards for $3.99 in the SWS Bookstore.

REGISTER HERE

Last week we did a show-n-tell webinar in the SWS Virtual Studio about contact management - specifically what to DO with your contacts once they're loaded. Because, as nice as it is to have a place to safely store your precious sphere of influence contact details, having them in storage certainly isn't enough to justify either the effort it took to get them there, or the cost you'll incur to keep them there.

If you'd like to watch the video from the show, you can do that here: www.sellwithsoul.com/cms-contacts. It's a long one - nearly 90 minutes, but there's some good stuff there if I do say so me-self!

If you don't have the patience to sit through a 90-minute tutorial (I know I don't), here's the Cliff's Notes version...

Step One: Print out a report of all your contacts, including their spouse's name, home address, email address, phone number and birthday.

Step Two: Go through the list with a highlighter and identify any missing bits of information. Don't DO anything with the missing bits just yet - just identify them.

Step Three: Go through the list again and identify your Group Ones (the people you'd feel comfortable asking out for coffee; i.e. your social network). Put a "1" next to your Group Ones.

Step Four: If you imported your contacts from an old database, identify anyone on that list that you don't know with an "IDK" (I Don't Know). These might be old web leads or people you met at open houses five years ago, for example.

Step Five: Everyone else on the list, who isn't a Group One or an IDK should be a Group Two (people you know, but who aren't in your social network).

Step Six: Go BACK through the list (yet again) and identify members any sub-groups that you see - for example - family, service providers, dog-lovers, fellow bikers or hikers, little-league parents, members of your church, high school or college friends, etc.

INTERLUDE

All this printing and highlighting and scribbling may sound a little low-tech for today's world, eh? Surely there's a faster, more efficient way to do these things without expending all this manual effort?

Yes, of course there is and most contact management systems will allow you to do most of these steps directly online, without printing and highlighting and scribbling.

BUT

I believe there is something magical about "touching" the names in your database on a regular basis. When you print out the list and go through it, name by name and really think about each person and who they "are" to you, good things happen. First, you'll likely be inspired to reconnect with many of the people on that list, and second (as airy-fairy as this may sound), when you think about someone, I believe you send out a vibe to them, and if you're thinking good thoughts (!), I believe they'll feel it... and might be inspired to reconnect with YOU! I think every real estate agent should go through their database, name by name, at least every six months.

Okay - I'll continue this later this week with what to do NEXT after you've printed out and scribbled up your list... Stay tuned!

I’m often asked how I got into the “real estate training” business – usually by people who’d like to do it too. People who feel they have a message and are passionate about sharing it.

“So, Jennifer, how did you make the transition from being a reasonably successful real estate agent to being a reasonably successful real estate trainer and what advice would you give me if I wanted to do it, too?”

Well, truth be told (and I DO tell these people the truth that you’re about to read), I would never advise anyone to do it the way I did. Oh, I can’t say I know of a better way, although I have learned a thing or two along the journey, but unless you want to go hundreds of thousands of dollars into debt (yes, you read that right), find ANOTHER way to make your dream come true other than the path I took!

On that fateful day in April of 2006 when my business partner abruptly called it quits, leaving me high and dry with a real estate company I didn't want to manage by myself, I had $90,000 in the bank, $132,000 in my IRA and no credit card debt. That was the day I took my first step toward becoming a real estate writer and trainer.

Two and a half years later, once the dust had settled and I peered up from the bottom of the hole I’d dug for myself, my bank account was empty, my IRA was worth less than $20,000 and I had (are you sitting down?) well over $100,000 in credit card debt. For the more mathematically-inclined, yes, that means I burned through more than $300,000.

Oops.

I started digging out. I’d like to say I cut up my credit cards, lived on rice and beans and became gazelle-intense (all Dave Ramsey’isms), but that would be a lie. Even after two and a half years away from the monopoly-money paychecks of a successful real estate career, I must confess I still had trouble telling myself no, especially when it came to investing in my business.

But things started to turn around; I made more good choices than bad, and as the Sell with Soul message spread, I gratefully started to enjoy the fruits of my labors.

Last month, I paid off my last debt; a $10,000 personal loan I had to take out when the basement flooded in the house I was trying to sell. That last $10,000 came from the inheritance I received from my mother who died last year (a year ago today, actually; miss you, Mom), and I’m not sure how I feel about that. I wish I could have used her money toward something a little more meaningful than paying for a flooded basement, but oh well.

Anyway, I’m probably not going to call Dave Ramsey’s radio show and scream “I’M DEBT-FREEEEEEE,” so I’ll do it here for my friends. And yeah, it feels goooooood.

A few months ago, I was contacted by one of my customers who had just purchased my Listing Analyzer for Expired Listings which is a dandy little tool to help agents figure out why an expired listing didn't sell with the previous agent... and what they can (and should) do better this go-around.

She was a little miffled by something she saw in there - specifically - my implication that the previous listing agent "failed" to sell the house and that somehow, that was HIS/HER fault!

She asked me: "So, Jennifer, you're saying that if I can't sell a listing, it's MY fault?"

Yes. That's exactly what I'm saying.

Are you a bit miffled with me now, too? ;-]

Here's the thing.

When a seller wannabe honors us with his business, we agree to take on a serious responsibility. Our job as a listing agent, when done right anyway, entails far more than just getting some signatures on an agreement, putting a sign in the yard, entering some words into the MLS and installing a lockbox. More than just holding open houses, creating pretty brochures, taking good pictures and pursuing buyer feedback. More, even, than just pricing properly!

It's our job to know:

1) if the property is sellable at all (not all are), and,

2) what it will take to sell it and,

3) how to effectively communicate with the seller wannabe so that he understands and accepts how his actions and decisions affect the final outcome, and how to inspire him to do his part.

So, Ms. Smarty Pantz, are you saying YOU sold all YOUR listings because you're so freakin' perfect?

Nope. I didn't sell all my listings and I'm far from perfect. But when my listings didn't sell, I'll be the first to say it was MY FAULT.

Agree? Disagree? Unsure? Tell me!

So, you have a buyer who is bound and determined to get a killer deal on some real estate, huh? He’s heard-tell of this here “buyer’s market” and wants to get himself a piece of that action. Even if it takes all year…

Sigh.

We’ve all been there. Worked with buyers who, in our opinions, were unrealistic about the extent of this here buyer’s market and the depths to which sellers are willing to go to offload their properties. They’ve listened to late-night seminars or their Uncle Charlie who provided “expert” advice on how to properly offer on a property (asking price MINUS repairs needed MINUS profit desired MINUS margin for risk MINUS 25%-for-good-measure) without regard for whether or not the asking price is reasonable or not.

They want a deal. And they want you to help them get a deal.

So, you find them exactly what they say they’re looking for. A well-priced home in a good location that needs just the right amount of work to satisfy their need for adding value with cosmetic upgrades.

Yay, sez you! Yay, sez your buyer!

You head for the offer table and the buyer wants to offer low. Really low. Obnoxiously low. Ridiculously low. Unreasonably low. (I’ll stop now, you get my drift).

What do you do?

Write ‘er up.

Yep, write it up as per the instructions of your client. No fussing, no arguing, no defending the asking price. If your buyer wants your opinion, he’ll ask for it. Not to say you can’t provide market data if he seems at all interested, but in most cases, especially early on, he won’t be. He wants a deal and he’s certainly entitled to go after it.

Why shouldn’t you try to talk him out of low-balling?

• The buyer is the boss. It’s his money and he has the right to spend it (or not) the way he sees fit. 
• You never know what the seller will accept. If you tried to talk your buyer “up” and the seller accepts his low offer, you’re toast in the credibility department.
• The buyer hired you to be on his team. His wants are your wants. His preferences, your preferences.
• If you argue with your buyer over offer price, he’ll wonder if you’re in cahoots with the seller or listing agent, again, jeopardizing your credibility.

Of course, it’s up to you to decide if you want to continue working with the low-balling buyer! You are certainly entitled to end the relationship if it’s not satisfying to you, just as he’s entitled to make whatever ridiculous, unreasonable, obnoxious offer he wants to. But before you fire a low-balling buyer, consider this…

Think of all the good that can come of this experience!

Um….what good, Jennifer?

Tell ya what – I’ve overstayed my welcome on this blog today, so I'll open the floor to your comments. Any thoughts on why you might not want to fire that bottom-feeding, low-balling buyer o'yours?