As much as I'd like to claim that I'm always looking out for the other guy, and always put my friends' and clients' needs ahead of my own... well... I just can't say that with a straight face. I can be awfully lazy at times (quite often, actually) and would much rather do exactly what I 
wanna do and the rest of my world be da*ned!
But... unfortunately, when you're self-employed, that's probably not the best approach to life. Because y'know what? In our industry, every warm body on the planet has the potential to bring you a $10,000 paycheck and there's no way of telling who that next $10k paycheck will come from. Blow someone off ‘cause you're feeling lazy and you might just have blown that week's (or month's) opportunity for The Big One.
So, lately, when I'm asked for a favor, or even to go out socially (as an introvert, I'm not always in the mood) and I'm inclined to decline, I back off and ask myself "What's in this for me?" And y'know what? I can almost always think of something "in it" for me, above and beyond the potential to have fun, eat some good food or drink good wine or even meet my next $10k client. I hesitate to give you any of my recent examples because they are SO DARN SELF-SERVING, I'm almost embarrassed.
But does it really matter what my motivation is, as long as I do the right thing?
So, give it a try. Next time you're tempted to decline an invitation or say NO to a favor asked of you, take a moment to be selfish and ask "what in it for me if I do this?" If you truly can't think of anything, you have my permission to stay home! But I'll bet you'll find that more often than not... there IS something in it for you that makes it worth doing!
My friend Bob Delle Donne in Florida challenged me to find a way to sell 1000 SWS's in March. I rolled my eyes at him, but he insisted. He said to just put it out there into the universe and see what happens. Well, okay. And y'know what? Sales are way up! I got a ginormous order last night from Amazon.com and am getting about four times the orders on my website. Neato! If you'd like to participate in my universal experiment, I'd certainly be honored. Volume discounts available (I know the boss). xoxoxo
BUY A BUNCH OF SWS'S! (or just one)
Jennifer You are so right. To get through these times we all must learn to step outside the comfort zone and do the little extra... Never know...
In the past I have been very guilty of spreading myself too thin with volunteer work for several organizations, plus work, plus family, etc. I finally got wise to step back and ask those questions as I clearly needed to put sanity back in my life. What is the best value for my return. What gives me the most passion to give my time, basically what's in it for me? Not as much selfish but wanting to do the very best at a few things rather than a crazy person trying to do all. Nice thought for Monday and thanks for the great post!
Jennifer I agree totally with your idea on this. You never know where the next deal is going to pop up and usually in the most unlikely of places.
Connie - I'm the opposite - I do everything in my power to STAY HOME, so my advice might not be quite right for you! I'm very selfish with my time and have to force myself to share it with others...
Denise - and when it happens... you feel SO SMART for getting out there and letting it happen to you!
Vanessa - Better than sitting home stewing, eh?
Isn't it funny that we are in an extrovert occupation but secretly we can be introverts? It's too easy to say "no, I'm tired" or whatever to avoid social activities, but I try to recall the mantra "you have to circulate to perculate!".
Two good ideas - I love the idea of reminding ourselves that we need to get out and do the things we might not want to because in fact there is something in it for us! And - we have to circulate to percolate is so true too! thanks!
Sounds like your saying the key is the "consider" the possibilities...when so many of us rush to a "yes" or a "no" without regard to possibilities. Ah, to think!
Let me give you an example of one of my kinda silly selfish motives...
A girlfriend invited me out for dinner. I was tired and lazy and my stomach hurt. But then I remembered that she had some BARF food (dog food) in her freezer that her dogs didn't like and she'd offered to give it to me. BARF food is expensive and I'm happy to take it off her hands. So, I accepted the dinner date and had a great time (and the pups got some dinner, too). I forced myself out of the house by asking "What's in it for me?" and was glad I did.
Say "Yes" more often is one of my resolutions for 2009. Like you, after a long day in real estate I am often tempted to decline the last minute invitation--but not anymore. You never know where your next deal is coming from--actually, I just wrote an offer from a 411 caller! Out of all the real estates offices the operator chose to give him my number.
Jennifer - I would have never guessed you to be an introvert. You seem quite the opposite. Shows you what I know. Anyway, good post Jennifer. As you know, in order to succeed in this market, we all need to get out more, which is why I don't spend my days in the office, sitting in front of my computer blogging all day long.
Don't get me wrong fellow Rainers, this is not a slight against those who are doing that and are getting business from it. My point is that blogging is not my primary source of referrals and because it's not, I need to get out of my office and spend time doing the things that are my primary source of referrals and that is getting in front of people and talking to them about how I can help them and the services that I can offer them.
Perhaps, one day, blogging will be a good source of referrals for me. Howerver, having said that, even if blogging does become a good referral resource for me, I will still always be the kind of LO that likes to get out of the office and meet and talk to new people because that's just how I roll. To each is own - right?
Jennifer, The what's in it for me is usually my downfall. I will go and go and go without asking what's in it for me. I tend to give without thinking is this really worth my time? And that attitude is starting to bite me in the backside.
Even more so these days. We must push ourselves to be more social when we don't want to be. I have never been a big fan of going to the grocery store with my wife since she knows even more people than I do in this small town of ours, so I never went very often. Lately I have been going with her to do the weekly grocery shop.
Before I would duck and dive around the store to avoid talking to some people, not because I didn't like them because I didn't want to spend 10 mins chit chatting I had other things to do. These days I make sure I say hi to everyone in there I see shopping and my wife introduces me to people she knows that I don't ( she is in the mortgage business) Shopping for groceries can take a long time, you just have to push yourself.
Another new photo, now the active rain logo isn't in your face. Hope you make your goal 1,000 books in March, "Be careful what you ask for" as the saying goes.
Jennifer, there is another twist. I am not an introvert, but have had the moments where you are just feeling ho hum and lazy.. I have said no a few times to some invites.... and last summer I lost a friend to cancer and I said to myself "never again" Life is too short not to go out and have fun. and as you mention you may just have an opportunity to remind people what you do for a living!
Sometimes I almost feel selfish aking what in it for me, but it is a great motivator. When there is a function I don't want to go to, I try to put a spin on it as well, trying to find a reason to justify it. I think it's just a way us introverts think and how we get past our insecurities.
Your fellow introvert wants you to know your new picture is adorable.
WIFM...Well, thanks for the bump! And, for pulling me out into the crowd on A/R.
Your book, "Sell With Soul", is a must read for anyone who has been operating the way Brokers and Managers are teaching, today. No disrespect intended and you offer real estate agents the FRESHEST message AVAILABLE to thrive in the new real estate paradigm!
It took me 2 hours to read it and literally couldn't put it down because of all the information I hadn't heard before...Trust me, I am a reader and you kept my attention throughout the book! The stories were great and the checklists, too!
I wish you all the best with the 1000 book sales and in your longterm success as an author and authority on SOI relationship selling!!!
Ahh, the silly mental games we introverts have to play with ourselves to go out to dinner :)
OK. I admit that I don't always follow up. Sometimes I really don't want to work with someone. Note, it's not that I don't want to work. It's that I don't want to work with certain clients. I'm very selective. I only work with people that I know I'll have a good working relationship with. So when I don't follow up, it's a conscious decision, and I'm OK with it.
Jennifer, I have really enjoyed your reading your book! Fantastic! Good luck with your selling 1000 SWS in March.
Jennifer,
You've stepped out of your comfort zone, and you'll find treasures beyond imagination out there!
Mike in Tucson
Jennifer,
I have often found that by pushing myself to do things that are usually out of my typical routine it provides me with opportunities that are typically not presented to me.
I agree 110%! Sometimes I'd rather sit home with this laptop (or one of my zillion cats) than get my butt out of the house. But it's still better to go INTO THE BANK, instead of the drive-through...or buy GS cookies from your SOI instead of the kiddies outside of Walmart...right?? : )
Sue - I'm gonna share your drive-thru bank story at my SOI presentation on Thursday - care to share it here?
Jenn,
Great point! Also, congrats on the rise in sales. Hopefully they keep climbing all year long!
What a great post! I have noticed lately that when I put myself out there that more comes my way. I think if you don't even think about what is in it for you, and just do it, you'll see positivity come your way one way or another.