Selling Soulfully with Jennifer Allan

Got a great question from a reader yesterday!

NH writes:

Dear Jennifer,

What do you do when your spouse doesn't get the SWS* [Sell with Soul] concept? My husband is a born salesman if you know what I mean. He has no problem striking up a conversation with anyone, in fact I get some leads from him because he isn't ashamed to brag about me and refer me. I feel blessed to have someone who believes in me so much and supports my career. But we have now had two heated discussions because I was explaining the SWS concept and why I thought it was the perfect thing for my personality (which is the total opposite from his) and he started "coaching" me on how to get out  there and to face things that scare me; cold calling, door knocking, etc. He said, "Everything can't be all fun and there are things in every one's job that they don't like. You can't always take the easy route" (when it comes to lead generation).

You probably know how I was feeling. I'm not sure what to say anymore because every time we discuss it, someone ends up getting hurt. Has anyone else had this problem, if not with someone close to them, maybe a team leader, broker, or fellow agent?

NH"

Oh, yeah, NH, I SO feel your pain! I've dealt with this all my life, although not as much anymore because I can throw the "I wrote a book about it!" card around. The thing is, extroverts often really don't understand us - they just think we're wussing out when we refuse to do things that make us uncomfortable. I've had my share of knock-down, drag-out fights myself over my more reserved personality, and, like yours, they always end badly.

Here's an article I wrote on the subject - Stop Trying to CURE us!. Here's another "I'm a Reluctant Salesperson". And another. "Introverts, Stay IN Your Comfort Zone"

I believe that a large percentage of the real estate failures (that is, agents who enter the business and then quit) are due to the cookie-cutter training that insists there's only one path to success, regardless of one's personality. That simply ain't true. Once a salesperson (regardless of his or her product) acknowledges, accepts and even celebrates his natural God-given talents and interests, he can blossom doing things HIS way.

But force him to do it THEIR way and he'll almost certainly fail. It's not a matter of being stubborn or stupid or lazy or wussy. We introverts just have a different perspective on the world and the people in it. It's not better, it's not inferior; it's just different.

NH - I'll chat with you more about this offline, but thanks for the Monday morning blog material!

Any fellow Introverts (or Extroverts married to Introverts) have any tips for us? (Other than "suck it up" - we've heard that one before!)

* When I advise agents to "Sell with Soul" it simply means (among other things) that they should stay true to who they are, whether they are introverts, extroverts or something in the middle. But many introverts equate SWS to introversion because the SWS philosophy is one of the few that acknowledges the fact that introverts can be successful selling real estate. However, to clarify, you don't have to be an introvert to  Sell with Soul!!!!

p.s. I have a special newsletter just for introverts - you can register for it here: http://www.sellwithsoul.com/r_prospect.html

MYTH #1
Your Love of People Will Make You a Successful Real Estate Agent
(excerpted* from Sell with Soul)

"She's not the friendliest person in the world, but she gets the job done" is how one of my biggest clients described me to a referral. After I picked myself up off the floor, I decided she meant it as a compliment, since obviously, she seemed satisfied with my service. And who am I kidding? No one has ever accused me of being a natural salesperson.

A general liking and appreciation for other people is a dandy characteristic for anyone to have, especially someone who has chosen sales as a career. But real estate isn't sales in the traditional sense. The only product you're selling is yourself; the rest of your job is primarily service related. If you are a people-person, great. It will help you be a successful real estate agent and possibly happier and more fulfilled overall. But if you're like me, with a natural tendency to shy away from social situations, don't fret. You can still be wildly successful in real estate.

But if, like me, you won't be able to distract them with your charm, you'll need to blow them away with your expertise. And responsiveness. And confidence.

I once had a partner who was more of the warm fuzzy type. Whenever we tag-teamed a client (i.e., we both showed them homes or shared the listing), we always laughed at how she knew all the details of their personal lives and I didn't even know the ages of their children or what exactly the clients did for a living. I'm all business and don't mess around with small talk.

Not surprisingly, some clients loved her and disliked me, yet others preferred my efficiency and expediency. Different strokes. If you are the friendly type, you will attract and please a certain type of client. But if you're more like me - don't worry, there are plenty of "just-the-facts" real estate buyers and sellers out there who will think you're great.

As long as you are good. I'm here to help you with that.

Continued tomorrow with:  Myth #2 - Your Love of Houses Will Make You a Successful Real Estate Agent

The 7 Myths of a Real Estate Career
  Your Love of People Will Make you a Successful Real Estate Agent
  Your Love of Houses Will Make You a Successful Real Estate Agent
  You Have to Pester (er, Cold Call) Strangers to Build a Successful Business
  Your Job Is to Drive Buyers Around and Hold Open Houses
  You Will Work Every Weekend
  Real Estate Is a Team Sport
  You Shouldn't Ever Discount Your Fee

copyright Jennifer Allan 2007

I’ve been watching Sex, Lies & Videotapes on DVD this week. Remember this movie? No? Well, it was made in 1989 so probably many of you missed it due to your crazy elementary school schedule. Anyway, earlier this week I promised to help out the more introverted among us with some tips for “smoothly closing” our clients when it’s the right thing to do and lo and behold... right there on my movie screen is a perfect example of a Soulful Assumptive Close! So, I’ll start there.

In the movie, Graham (james spader) asks Cynthia (laura san giacomo) to let him videotape her. I’ll spare you the details, but let’s just say that she’s intrigued, yet a little unsure. She wants to do it - that’s clear - but she’s uncomfortable coming right out and saying so.

Cynthia asks a series of delaying tactic questions (“How long will it take?” “Do I sit or stand?” “Will anyone else ever see this tape?”). Graham quietly answers her questions and at the same time, casually picks up his video camera, loads a tape and sets up the tripod. He sits down in an easy chair and gestures for her to relax on the sofa. He turns the camera on and begins asking questions. She can either answer them, thus agreeing to be videotaped, or refuse to answer, thus declining to be videotaped. The power was always in her hands; Graham just made it easy for her to say yes.

Fade Out

The Assumptive Close is defined as “acting as if the prospect has already made the decision”. What you’re supposed to do is to move the conversation toward the next steps without waiting for permission or a specific request to do so. Typical examples of the assumptive close in real estate include:

“Would you like to ask for the refrigerator in your offer? ”
“Would this Friday be good to go on the market?”
“Let’s meet back at the office in an hour to review the comparables”

When done respectfully and with the right intentions, the assumptive close will be welcomed by your buyer, seller or prospect. They’ll be relieved you took control and will enthusiastically follow your direction. They’ll happily go where you lead and love you for it.

And of course, they still have the power to say no or to halt the process, and certainly you should respect their wishes if they do so.

In the example I used in my previous blog, how could the shipboard hairstylist soulfully closed me on the Overpriced Facial or the Total Body Detoxification and Purification Experience? Easy, right? She could have picked up her appointment book and simply showed me what times were available. How hard is that? Or she could have shown me a brochure of the various types of facials offered and asked which one I wanted. Neither of these tactics are pushy or aggressive. I still made the final decision; she just made it easy on me.

For the Reluctant Salespeople among us, using the assumptive close should come naturally with a little practice. Try using it in other areas of your life if you’re uncomfortable experimenting with your clients. When it works, it’s a beautiful thing!

You haven’t heard the last of this from me... more closing techniques for introverts coming soon!

Copyright Jennifer Allan 2007

Okay - calm down. I'm an introvert thru and thru, so trust me, I won't ask you to do anything I wouldn't do myself.

We introverts like our email. It's safe, it's efficient and we know we aren't hassling anyone with our attempts at communication. Our prospects can choose to read it... or not. They can choose to read it NOW... or later. We're oh-so thoughtful that way. We don't want to impose our friendship on anyone who isn't open to it.

(As in my earlier post about hand-shaking, the EXtros are now saying "HUH?" But the Ntros know what I'm talking about.)

But here's the thing, unfortunately for us ...

It's hard to establish a professional relationship via email. Oh, yes, it can be done, but at a risk. A risk of losing the prospect to a more aggressive salesperson. A risk of drifting into a never-ending cyber-chat with your online prospect, during which you become complacent and, frankly, afraid to break the ice and make the call. It's so much more comfortable to continue your online relationship; it seems to be working fine!

But if you get on the phone, right away, and establish that voice-with-an-email-address rapport, you have a much better chance of:

1. Creating a personal relationship with your prospect, which encourages loyalty

2. Getting on your prospect's calendar (very important!)

3. Truly understanding your prospect's situation and knowing whether or not you can help

And you know what? Once you've broken the voice-to-voice ice, you'll feel SO MUCH more comfortable with this person. (Or not, as the case may be, which is good to know also.)

Several years ago, I contacted 5 real estate agents in the Wilmington, NC area, via email. Two responded - one via email, one on the phone. I chatted with both for the next several weeks, but my loyalty was 100% with the one who called me. Yeah, I'll admit I led the emailer on, picked her brain and took advantage of her offer to send me a daily update of new listings. But when I arrived in Wilmington, who showed me around? Yep. The one who called me.

When you get an Internet inquiry, pick up that phone. Be assured that your hot new prospect is emailing agents all over town, although the good news (for you) is that the vast majority of these agents won't respond at all. But if you make the call, right away, with a big smile on your face, and in your voice, you'll get that cyber-prospect, if you want them!

Copyright Jennifer Allan 2007

Salesperson, Please Sell Me!

As I write this, I'm on a big boat somewhere in the Caribbean... On Vacation... on a vacation where I swore I wouldn't work... but is writing/blogging work? I guess that depends on how well this blog-writing effort goes.

Anyway, this morning, I had my hair French-braided by a charming English girl in the onboard salon. Being a Fun Day at Sea, I'm looking for ways to spend my time and my money on luxuries I wouldn't dream of in the real world at home.

So, I ask my braider about the Total Body Detoxification and Purification Experience I see advertised everywhere.

"How much is it?" I ask.

"Ummm, $129 dollars"

"How long does it take?"

"One hour"

Me again. "Does it make you feel good or tired afterwards?"

"Oh, it makes you feel good."

"Are you all booked up??

"Yes, ma'am, we're booked all day, up til 5:00 I believe."

"Oh." Says I.

A few minutes later, hair freshly braided, I'm gazing at my reflection in dismay.

Me: "Wow - I look tired. Anything you can do to make me look a little more lively?"

Her: "Oh, I hate it when I look tired!"

End of conversation.

I walk out disappointed - not in my hair - it looks great, but I WANTED to spend my money! I wanted an overpriced facial and a one-hour-total body detoxification and purification experience! I wanted that English lass to, yes, SELL me her beautification services.

It's a fine line, isn't it? The line between being obnoxiously ... or helpfully... pushy.

Speaking especially to us introvert-types... how many times do we let sales opportunities slip thru our fingers because we are waiting for a clear go-ahead from our clients? As in, "Jennifer, we love this house and would like to return to your office and prepare a decent offer on it before someone else buys it out from under us."

Well, guess what. That doesn't always happen. Especially if your client is also on the introverted side, he or she may try to feel you out to see if you'll take the ball and run with it. In fact, your introverted client may even feel that she's IMPOSING on you if she asks to take up more of your precious time by writing up an offer. Yeah, this is how we introverts think!

So... what to do, what to do....?

Guess what? You're gonna have to ‘close' ‘em.

Now don't fret, this isn't nearly as bad as it sounds. Stay tuned for help learning to close without fear (of being that obnoxious, aggressive, money-grubbing Real-a-tor!)

copyright Jennifer Allan 2007

There's nothing we Ntro's like more than a wedding, a funeral, a Christmas party or a Candle party... right?

Uh, no. Not so much. Just the sight of a wedding invitation puts a panicky feeling in the pit of my stomach that just gets bigger as the big day draws near. A whole afternoon and maybe evening of small talk with strangers? Not my cup of tea. I dread it.

But here's the thing. You, as a self-employed real estate-type, need to go. Now if you were a writer or a computer programmer or a 911 operator, you could probably get away with sending a nice gift and spending that Saturday curled up on the sofa with your cats. But ... nope. You're in the business of, well, generating business!

Do I mean that you should go to this wedding and hand out your business cards to every poor sap you meet there? Gawd, NO. NO NO NO NO NO! Leave those cards in the car! (you can always go grab one if absolutely necessary).

You go because it's the right thing to do. You were obviously special enough to the hosts (the bride & groom) to be included on the guest list. Showing Up will let them know that you think they're special enough to honor with your presence.

And making people feel special is a super way to build your business. Will the bride and groom buy a house from you because you showed up at their wedding? I dunno. But I guarantee you have a much better shot at it than if you didn't. And then there's all those people that the bride & groom know...

The same thing goes for funerals, housewarming parties, birthday parties, baby showers and such. Good opportunities to prospect? No. Good opportunities to show someone you care? Yes.

I'm really bad at this actually. I'll come up any excuse under the sun to get out of attending a social function. Not 'cause I don't care about my friend, really, but can we be brutally honest for a moment? I don't show up 'cause I care more about my social discomfort than about my friend. There, I said it.

So, in this instance... do as I say, not as I do!

www.sellwithsoul.com

copyright Jennifer Allan 2007

Any extrovert reading this is gonna go "HUH? Well, DUH" (extroverts can be so well-spoken - said with a smile).

However, I bet some of you Ntros are going to relate.

Have you ever been introduced to someone... who didn't offer their hand in greeting... and you didn't offer yours... and the relationship went downhill from there?

It happens to me all the time and I hate it. Maybe I just wasn't versed in the social graces as a child, but I really think that it's due to my Ntro personality. I almost always wait for the other person to initiate a handshake and usually they do.

Great! Onward!

But... sometimes, the other person is also an Ntro and waits for ME to get the social ball rolling. And when I don't, oooooh... it's painful. Awkward. Uncomfortable. And it doesn't get any better with time.

So, the obvious simple solution is to remind yourself to always extend your hand in greeting until it becomes a habit.

Great! Onward!

www.sellwithsoul.com

copyright Jennifer Allan 2007

The sales gurus tell you to step outside your comfort zone. Take that first painful step. Push yourself to do the things you'd rather not.

Makes sense, I s'pose.

But is it really necessary? Maybe not.

Frankly, I think I'm pretty darn cool just the way I am, without stepping out of my zone. I think that I can be me, and succeed just fine.

Don't wanna cold call? So don't. If you don't wanna, you'll probably suck at it anyway. Call your mother instead.

Don't wanna hunt for FSBO's? Join the club. Meet three friends for brunch or bang out a few personal emails.

Don't wanna spend the weekend handing out cards from your company's Peanut Festival booth? Me neither. But I might stop by and say hi!

So what DO you wanna do?

Make a list of the things you're good at, the things you enjoy, that don't give you the jitters. Chances are, hidden in that list are plenty of ideas to generate business for yourself. I'll bet you're creative enough to come up with some great ones (and please share!)

You got this far in life being YOU. Just ‘cause you're in real estate doesn't mean you have to change. You're already terrific!

Stay tuned - more tips coming soon. 

www.sellwithsoul.com

copyright Jennifer Allan 2007

(To read Part One, Click Here)

... In retrospect, I realize that the ability to work from home changed my life. For the first time, I truly flourished and discovered a creative side to myself I'd never known existed. Being somewhat shy and a bit of a privacy freak, working in an office made me feel self-conscious and ‘on display' all the time. And it was so distracting! I need peace and quiet to focus. I need a sense of privacy to recharge my batteries. Surrounded by chatter, I feel myself getting anxious and frazzled. But that's just me.

The other thing that annoyed me about working in the office was sharing equipment with other agents. The copier was always jammed (and abandoned), the fax machine always in use (or jammed & abandoned), the printer was out of toner (and abandoned) or the central computer was frozen (and abandoned). Real estate agents can be a bit self-absorbed and technologically challenged which is a bad combination when you're sharing vital office equipment.

If you're Just Like Me, give some serious consideration to setting up a true home office, and not just a corner of the dining room for your computer desk. You'll need your own room, preferably away from any hustle and bustle of the living areas of your home. And not just to ensure your peace and quiet, but so that your family doesn't feel as if they live in a real estate office. In many of the homes I've lived in during my career, my office was set up in a central location in the home and when I was married, my husband deeply resented it.

The phone rang constantly and I was always working, right under his nose. He felt neglected and ignored - that my business was more important than he was, and that his home was not a sanctuary from his own busy work day. Had my office been separate from the main living area, he could have enjoyed his own solitude and peace, but the way I set it up, he could not. It seemed to him that the whole house was my office and not our home.

So anyway, if at all possible, find your own space that won't interfere with family life. Once you get busy, your phone will ring constantly and you will need to be able to escape from your office too! That's hard to do when your office is in the dining room.

You'll need a good working desk in addition to a computer desk. You'll need plenty of shelves and drawers. The more horizontal storage space you have, the happier you'll be. Storage is the secret to happiness in your home office! You'll need some good file cabinets, a fax machine, a telephone with speaker, desktop file storage, a fax machine, a postage meter, a 3-hole punch, a paper cutter, a paper shredder, a few reams of presentation paper, a box of regular copy paper, legal paper, labels, scotch tape... etc., etc., etc. A multi-function fax/copier/printer/scanner is a necessity.

One year, I got overly ambitious and purchased a $2000 color laser printer because I thought I was a big shot and needed it. Don't do it!! That monster cost me $1000/year in toner and other supplies and broke down at least twice a year. It was too heavy for me to move, even two feet across the room. I'd rather wear out a couple mid-quality multi-function machines every year than deal with that beast again.

Do not use your home phone as your business phone unless you are the only one who ever answers it AND you answer it professionally every time. Use your real estate office address on business cards. After I got to the point where I worked exclusively at home, I was comfortable meeting my clients there, especially when preparing purchase offers. You may or may not feel the same way. For me, it's just easier to put contracts together on my own computer, rather than figuring out how to work the computer and printer in an office I rarely visit. It's worth the half an hour I have to take to clean up my house! Perhaps it isn't as professional as meeting in a stuffy office, but it works just fine for me.

If you work from home 99% of the time and are willing to give up your desk at your real estate office, you may be able to negotiate a better commission split. After all, the broker can put another agent at your desk (more $$$ for him) and you aren't using the office resources to the extent that the other agents do. Many companies offer an alternative split for agents who work from home, although it may not be available to you until you've been selling real estate for a year or two. Working from home can be expensive - aside from the obvious costs of stocking your own supplies, you're also using your own electricity all day long! Don't underestimate this - my utility bills were twice what they "should" have been. But maybe you'll offset that by not eating out as much... after all, your refrigerator is just down the hall.

http://www.sellwithsoul.com/

copyright Jennifer Allan 2007

Should you work from home or from a real estate office?

For some, the answer is obvious. The majority of salespeople prefer the busyness and chaos of an office. They need the social interaction and would be unproductive at home. They claim that they can't work from home because they'd be too distracted and wouldn't get anything done. If this sounds like you, you have your answer. Start working toward getting that corner office with a mountain view.

For those of you like me, naturally introverted, you may find yourself working primarily from home already. I did. Within one week of beginning my real estate career, I had a full office set up in my home and only went to my Coldwell Banker office a few times a week. I didn't do it intentionally; it just naturally happened.

Don't force yourself to go to the office if you're more comfortable and productive at home. Being an introvert all my life, I always felt a little guilty that I preferred my own company to the company of others. I forced myself into social situations that were disastrous for my peace of mind and productivity. For example, I joined a sorority in college (what was I thinking?) and when I noticed I wasn't fitting in, I decided to move into the sorority house for a semester. What a nightmare - no privacy, no personal space, no control over my environment. For an introvert, this is Bad. We need our privacy, space and control to function.

When you go to the office, do you feel as if you're productive? Creative? Ambitious? I found that when I forced myself to spend time in my real estate office, I could get my to-do list done, but not much else. My creativity seemed stifled and my motivation low. I need my own space to pace, to talk to myself, to do a few sit-ups if the mood strikes. Or even take a power nap.

When you spend time in the office do you feel energized when you leave or drained? Do you enjoy the other agents in your office or do they get on your nerves? When you walk in your door at night, do you stumble in, feeling as if you just put in a long day at the office? Or pleased with yourself and eager to go back tomorrow? One of the many benefits of a real estate career is the escape from the drudgery of a nine-to-five job. The euphoria of being your own boss and controlling your own destiny (in between all those feeling of confusion, anxiety and frustration). Your work environment may very well be the key to finding the euphoria.

(to be continued...)

http://www.sellwithsoul.com/

copyright Jennifer Allan 2007