Selling Soulfully with Jennifer Allan

It occurs to me that running an SOI* business is a lot like dating. I'm thankfully no longer in the dating world, but I remember it well. Trying to figure out where Mr. Right might be hanging out that day. Pondering who among my friends would give me that magic referral to the man who was The One. Trying to find the elusive balance between approachable friendliness... and aloof-hard-to-get-ness. The roller coaster ride of euphoric highs followed by crushing lows.

When you're dating, you're bombarded with advice. Such as... it's a good idea for a marriage-minded woman to ask a man on the first date if he's similarly-inclined. If no, NEXT! If you see children in your future, you should make sure every man you have coffee with feels the same way. Before the second cup. How about announcing to all your friends that you are now Single and Available, and demand that they find you a mate?

Of course, there is the other camp which tells women to take the hard-to-get game to the extreme. Never return phone calls, never change your plans to meet a man on short notice, and never discuss the future.

When you begin your SOI business (that is, generating business and referrals from the Very Important People Who Know You), you are also given all sorts of advice, most of which makes no sense if you evaluate it from your gut. You are told to tell everyone you meet that you sell real estate and that you Love Referrals. Over and over again. That you should remind your friends constantly of that fact. That you should push your business card on anyone within shouting distance. That you should categorize your friends in order of importance - that is, how likely they are to refer to you - and socialize with them accordingly.

In short, PUSH your agenda on your SOI instead of allowing things to unfold and develop naturally.

If you interrogate a typical guy about his plans for your future together on your first (or tenth) date, he'll likely run for the hills regardless of his feelings on the matter. The same thing will probably happen if you assault every new acquaintance with your business card and elevator speech.

If you beg your friends to play matchmaker, they may silently wonder why you're so desperate, and be unwilling to subject their USDA Prime Choice male friends to that desperation (after all, matchmaking often backfires on the matchmaker!). Just like when you beg your friends for referrals (er, sorry, frequently remind them), they may question your professionalism and wonder why you don't already have all the business you need. Yeah, people do think this way, don't you?

Of course, there's that fine line between enthusiastically letting your SOI know you're open for business ... and putting your friends on the spot, both in your professional and your personal life. Finding that balance may be an ongoing struggle, but here are some tips:

• Don't attend a party or function with the sole intent of handing out your business cards. Attend with the idea that you will meet lots of nice people, and may have enough rapport with a few to pursue a relationship. Leave your business cards in the car and just relax.
  
• If a friend hasn't referred you, after your repeated requests that she do so, there may be a reason. Drop it - if you want to keep the friendship alive.
  
• Wait for people to ask you what you do for a living. Answer enthusiastically and see if there's any interest. If not, talk about the weather or the yummy shrimp kabobs.
  
• Don't send a letter to your SOI simply asking for referrals. In fact, don't ask for referrals at all. There are much better ways to get that point across than flat-out asking.
  
• Your friends will be happy to refer you (or hire you) if you seem to be a Reasonably Competent Human Being who enjoys selling real estate. You can't tell people this, you have to show them. Show up on time (with a smile on your face!), return phone calls promptly and do what you say you're going to do.
  
• Don't ever whine about the real estate market. To anyone. Ever.

Being a positive, upbeat, confident person who believes in her heart that She's All That will attract plenty of business from both friends and strangers.

Oh, and this strategy works well with men, too.

Stay tuned for Part Two of SOI and the Single Gal...

 *SOI = Sphere of Influence = People Who Know You

The Savvy Prospector: Eight Weeks to a Full Pipeline for Life

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The Daily Seduction
Tips & Inspirations to Generate Business from the Very Important People Who Know You!

copyright Jennifer Allan 2007

I'm a fan of reverse psychology in real estate. I blogged about it a few months ago and have since made a long list of ways to use reverse psychology in our business. It's a fascinating concept, really.

But just last night, one more possibility occurred to me. I'm not committed to this position yet, so help me out!

As the self-proclaimed Master of All Things SOI, I encourage everyone to respectfully seek business from their friends and family. If done right, it works. And works beautifully.

Lots of agents argue with me. They claim to "hate to work with friends or family," for a variety of reasons. Most of their reasons don't hold much water, but I'm not here to argue that opinion right now (be happy to, later, though if you like!).

But I'm realizing something... Friends ... and... FAMILY are two different animals.

Seducing your friends for business and referrals is pretty easy. Family? Not so much.

I read a post yesterday on a different forum about how the OP (original poster) was furious with a relative for not hiring him to sell her home. OP said "THIS is why I hate working with family!" It made me think. Many of my consulting clients bemoan the fact that they're getting very little support from their families. Their friends are gung-ho about the agent's real estate venture, but not their blood relatives. Weird, huh?

Maybe - I dunno.

But anyway, (finally getting to my point) how about trying out this solution?

Howza'bout you send out a personal letter to your family members telling them the following:

1. You are a real estate agent (if they seem to have forgotten)

2. You love your job (show your enthusiasm)

3. You have made the decision not to work with family members (!) because of possible conflicts of interest

4. However, you would truly appreciate the opportunity to counsel with your beloved relatives and help them find the perfect agent for their situation. (referral fees are cool!), and would be available to them throughout their transaction for advice.

Here are some of the benefits I see in this strategy:

1. People want what they can't have. You might find your relatives actually begging you to be their agent

2. By showing your willingness to help your family without the possibility of a paycheck, you demonstrate your professionalism, which will probably result in referrals.

3. If a relative does take you up on your offer for help finding the right agent, you can always change your policy if it seems appropriate.

4. A lot of stress is relieved among family members that you aren't going to be bugging them for business.

What do you think? This idea is about 12 hours old, so suggestions and arguments (and of course, any commentary on my early morning brilliance) are welcomed!

www.sellwithsoul.com

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The Daily Seduction
Tips & Inspirations to Generate Business from the Very Important People Who Know You!

copyright Jennifer Allan 2007

Whatchu talkin' ‘bout Jennifer? You can't be serious!

Yes, I am.

If you're asking the question "What is the best way to ask for referrals?" that tells me that something about doing it bothers you.

And if it bothers you, don't do it. Your discomfort will be crystal clear to the person you're asking, which is probably worse than not asking at all.

(If you don't mind asking for referrals, it probably comes naturally to you. Keep up the good work and ignore the rest of this blog.)

Do YOU like being asked for referrals? I don't.

When a friend asks me to refer business to her, I feel uncomfortable. What was five minutes ago a friendship suddenly feels like an obligation. If she asks me twice, our friendship may very well be in danger. I don't want to have to explain to her why I haven't referred anyone to her lately (or ever). I don't want to listen to her sales pitch... again. And, frankly, if I haven't referred anyone her way, there may be a reason. But I'd hate to lose a friendship over it.

When a business professional asks me for referrals, it lowers my respect for them a notch. Right or wrong, I assume everyone is as successful as they wanna be. So when I receive a marketing letter from my insurance agent or my accountant asking for referrals, I suddenly question their level of success... and therefore, just a teeny bit, their competence. Where five minutes ago, I perceived them to be a prosperous, crazy-busy professional... now they're a ... salesperson. Ick.

Don't get me wrong, I love to refer. I'm a referring madwoman when I find someone I believe in. You don't have to ask me to refer, I'm all over it! Aren't you the same way? If you have the world's best hairdresser, dog trainer, chiropractor - don't you tell everyone you know? Do these people have to constantly ask you for your referrals?

Here's a better way.

Be a friend first. If not a friend, then a reasonably competent human being. Be happy, excited and enthusiastic. Act as if your career is everything you always dreamed of. Practice saying "I'm a real estate agent and it's the coolest job in the world!" with a huge smile on your face. Or how about "I had no idea how much I would enjoy selling real estate, I'm having a blast!" Followed up by a sincere "How are YOU doing?"

To ensure that every potential referrer in your life knows you're a reasonably competent human being, make sure your self-promotion materials are professional and error-free. Return phone calls promptly, even social phone calls. Show up on time for appointments and lunch dates. Do what you say you're going to do, when you say you're going to do it. No excuses. Dress appropriately. Watch your language.

It really is that simple.

www.SellwithSoul.com